Flabbergasted In A Haarlem B&B

Flabbergasted in a Haarlem B&B

I think a regular dose of travel souvenirs can be good for the soul. This is one of my favorites and I'd love to hear about your most memorable travel stories.

It's the summer of 2008, and I'm in the living room of my B&B in Haarlem, a suburb of Amsterdam, with my hosts Hans and Marget. Reaching for my Heineken, I noticed it was a handbook produced by the Dutch government to teach prostitutes about safe sex. I pass it on and tell Hans. "It's fictional and shameless." 

"It's Victoria's Secret without a doubt," she whispered playfully. 

"Isn't that surprising to many?" I ask 

"Only the English and the Americans," he replied. Remember, this is Holland. Last night we watched a documentary on local TV. It was about the muscles of the body, in all graphic detail: breasts, penis, everything. Last week there was a special program on Kamasutra. Sexual gymnastics I have never seen before. It was two more documentaries for us Dutch. . . It's not a big deal. Maybe they'll be a big hit on American TV." 

"I don't know," I said, realizing that the manual was more interesting to me than Hans. “But do you know which is the most visited page on my website? Interesting article comparing two sex museums in Amsterdam. 

"Sex is not a cycle here. It's not taboo in the Netherlands," says Marget "But we're not sloppy about sex, either. The Dutch teenage pregnancy rate is half that of the US." 

Staying in a B&B saves money. As a bonus, B&B hosts are often great students of cross-cultural human nature and I love sharing their discoveries. They gave me an intimate insight into a culture that I couldn't get from a hotel lobby. 

This is certainly the case with Hans and Marget, who encourage their guests to feel at home. And it's easy to feel right at home in your living room with comfy chairs, random books, near-original antiques and an upright piano full of plucked music. 

Hans and Margaret live in three rooms and rent five. Hans wanted a little more room. Like the neighbors, he can make glass in his small yard, but he can't wait to change his green but small garden. he asks, bringing me another beer. "How long will you stay?" 

"Not enough" is my usual answer. I am Hansen's pet. He is on a personal crusade to calm me down, to slow me down. To Hans, I'm a goal-oriented, schedule-oriented American. 

Hans provides his guests with more information about cultural differences. "The Dutch are in the middle," he says. "We are as efficient as the Germans, so there are many American companies in the Netherlands. But we want to live like the French." 

"And joke like the English," added Margot. "Everyone here is fascinated by British humour. We look to the BBC for comedy." 

Hans also notices cultural differences in his guests' breakfast preferences. "Americans like strict advice and direction. Europeans, especially Germans, know what they want. French takes three days to digest. But Americans are quick to chat and make friends. Europeans, even without language differences, maintain their own private island style at the breakfast table. keeps." 

He continued, pointing to the two kitchen tables. "If the Germans are sitting here and the Americans are there, I break the ice, introduce the Americans to the Germans and say, well, they left their weapons in the United States," the Dutch are like the Germans, but with humor. " 

Returning to the discussion of how different cultures approach sex, Margot tells Hans: “Tell Rick the story of the Dutch Beach Boys. This body trade may be stressful for the Americans, but it sends the English under the pillow." 

"When I was a schoolboy, I went to England with a friend," Hans began. "We change our pants on the beach without a towel, no problem. We're good Dutch boys. The beach was crowded as always. Benches full of British pensioners hunched over wet sandwiches enjoying the fresh air. When my friend started to put on her swimsuit, Everyone turned their heads. We repeated the movement, delighted at the Englishman's ability to move the crowd. The pants dropped and all heads turned again. 

Margaret laughs as if she is hearing and telling the story for the first time. "We don't see many Englishmen on our beaches." 

"We're mostly Americans," says Hans. 

"We want to fill our room with only Americans," says Margate. "Americans are easy to communicate with, they are open. They taught me to express myself, to say what I think." 

Hans Tony interrupts Tiger's tourist impression. “Oh wow, that's great. 

"Americans are shocked," Marget added. 

"The English don't know how to impress," says Hans. 

I think he almost surprised them on that beach," says Margate. "When we went to Colorado, my trip got better when I learned to say 'wow' a few times a day." 

Marget, lying comfortably on the corner of the sofa, legs tucked under her petite frame, explains. "American woman. "How are you": we say "she" when she asks. "She's good," says the American. "That doesn't sound very good," we explain. 

Hans says: "Then the American replies: "Oh yes, you're serious." 

Marveling at the sincerity of America's smiling faces, Margate says: "In the US, even supermarket shopping bags have big 'Smile and Conquer' signs. 

"That's true," I agreed. "Only in the United States can you find a bank that fines a teller for not saying 'good morning' to every customer." 

Hans said: “Did you know that the Dutch are the most sought-after workers at Disneyland Paris? This is because most Dutch people are open-minded. We can laugh all day. And we speak our language." 

Marget explains: "In the Netherlands, when someone asks: "You speak your language." That means you can speak French, German and English as well as Dutch. 

Hans continued. "And for us, being friendly can be more tiring than the French. Can you imagine a Frenchman who has to smile all day? 

Hans pours my glass of Heineken. "God made the whole world. That was great. But France was...too perfect. So he brought the French to balance things." 

"And Canada can have it all: British culture, French cuisine, American wisdom," says Margate. 

"But they mixed it up and got British food, French knowledge and American culture." 

As I climb the steep Dutch stairs to my loft bedroom, I think about the value of friends along the way. The most memorable moment of this day happened after the visit. 

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